Here's One Way To Tackle That Embarrassing Feminine Itch...

Years ago, I worked in an office with a nice guy who happened to have one glass eye. Whenever the artifical orb caused him discomfort, he would pop it out and leave it on our shared workspace. Lovely, right? Workplace etiquette manuals simply failed to address the issue of co-workers with fake eyes or limbs, and while I didn't want to report a perfectly decent man to the human resource director, it was difficult to work with someone sporting a huge, gaping hole on his face.


I only mention this, because sometimes it's unbelievable what some people think is proper workplace behavior, what they assume they'll be able to get away with, whether others are watching or not.



My Dentist is also a dear friend of mine. She has a large, mostly femaly staff, and if you ask any of her employees, they will attest that she is the best boss they've ever had. She's generous to a fault, with trips to dental conventions, and staff cruises to the Bahamas. In return, she expects the best from her people; professionalism, courtesy, and loyalty. Oh, and one more thing, please don't waste her hard-earned money.


The other day we met for lunch and she shared a somewhat disturbing tale with me. Someone on her staff was blatantly wasting dental supplies.


"You know those Oral B toothbrushes I give to patients," she said. "How much do you think those cost me?"


"I have absolutely no idea," I admitted. "But I do like getting a new toothbrush everytime I visit you!"



Actually, every visit I walk out with a nifty little plastic bag containing not only a new Oral B, but toothpaste, floss, and some pointy brushlike device meant to stimulate my middle-aged receding gumline.



"Those toothbrushes run me about $1.42 each," she said. "Last week, I found a half dozen used brushes in the trash in the staff bathroom."



"Well, at least they're practicing what you preach," I said. "But you'd think they'd know to hang on to their brushes, put em in a toothbrush holder, or something."


Turns out, they weren't being used on teeth.


After much questioning and prodding, and more questioning, the culprit finally broke down and confessed. Turns out the woman at hand (who is no longer employed with my friend for other job-related concerns) was suffering from a nasty infection of the nether regions and the only thing that eased her chronic itching was the soft bristles of the Oral B's.

Maybe a fake eyeball every now and then between co-workers isn't so bad, afterall...